10 Reasons Not to Live in the Country

Looks beautiful, right?  Sure, rolling acres can be beautiful, but don’t let them fool you.  For those of you who love the country and rural living, please don’t take offense to this post, it was written in the spirit of humor (though not entirely), and the expressed reasons below are based solely on my opinion.  Also, they are based specifically on my location, but most of the points apply to the general country life.  Obviously, there are upsides to rural living, but, for now, those are not being discussed here.  SO, here we go:

  1. The closest shopping center is thirty minutes away (and I use the words “shopping center” loosely).

  2. Don’t like bugs?  Really?  Then don’t move to the country.  They’re bigger here and highly populated.  The mosquitoes are more like birds of prey.
  3. Want mice in your house?  No?  Well if you’re opposed to vermin, you may not want to live in the country, because true rural living just isn’t complete with out at least a few furry buggers scurrying across your freshly washed floors at night.
  4. You want your kids to keep their teeth?  Maybe that question sounds ridiculous, but if you want a pediatric dentist in my area, you’re going to drive an hour to get there.
  5. The closest Target is 45 minutes away!  Enough said.
  6. Cell service is touch and go, which can be extremely irritating in times of desperate need.
  7. Forget delivery.  I can’t tell you the last time I was able to order a pizza, Chinese, anything capable of delivery, because, guess what?  Nowhere delivers to the middle of nowhere.  Yep, that’s right.  You’ll spend all of eternity having to drive into the closest town to pick up a “quick” meal.
  8. Don’t like yard work?  Then the country life is not for you.  Unless, of course, you don’t mind living in grass and weeds as tall as your head.  Otherwise, you must mow the lawn at least once a week, which can take hours.  Ours takes about five, and that’s not even mowing some parts that have become too long and now a brush hog is needed.  Don’t know what a brush hog is?  You’re not from the country.  But back to the point at hand.  Do you really want to spend half a day each week, on your day off, simply maintaining the grass?
  9. In the event of extreme storms–and maybe it’s my imagination, but they seem to be more wicked here–you’d better be prepared to wait it out if your electric goes out.  Any repairs are done to urban areas first, leaving you, literally, stuck in the dark.  Also, forget timely plowed roads in the winter.  In our town, there’s one guy responsible for salting and plowing all of the roads, and he seems to decide at will when his services are needed and when he wants a day off.
  10. If your pet means a lot to you, the rural life may not be for you.  Because when your dog gets hit by a car (a seemingly common occurrence in the country) and you need an Emergency Vet clinic (after hours and on the weekend) you’re driving an hour.  Better cross your fingers and pray they hang in there for the ride.  Sound bitter?  Sorry, this one hit home recently, and was likely responsible for this post.
For those of you vacillating between urban versus rural, I hope this helps ;o)
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